We were at Autotire getting the oil changed in the van. It took a long time. Really long. I was wishing we had just found a Jiffy Lube, but then all the stories the Car Guys tell would have haunted me. So there we sat in Autotire’s waiting room with a broken TV.
Chip immediately started filling cups with water from the water cooler. He asked me why one handle was red and one blue. I told him the blue dispensed chilled water and the red dispensed room-temperature water.
“Not hot?” he asked.
“No,” I confidently replied. Red does mean hot, of course, but I have never encountered a water cooler that actually dispensed hot water. Of course, they all have white handles instead of red, but that didn’t occur to me at the time.
Chip pulled the red handle while holding his hand under it (which I didn’t see him do as I was busy reading Us, the only non-hunting or non-sporting magazine in the waiting room. Of course, I wouldn’t have let him do this if I hadn’t been so engrossed with what the Kardashian’s were up to. Which, actually is a joke, because I have no idea who they are other than having seen them on the cover of various tabloids and featured repeatedly on Go Fug Yourself)
“WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!! It SCALDED me!”
Scalded? What four year old uses the word scalded when they have been burned? I swear, this kid is a hoot.
“Chip, let me see. Oh baby, I’m so sorry, mommy had no idea actual hot water came out of that! But I have to say, Mommy is so impressed with your use of the word scalded!”
I’m pretty sure the guy sitting next to me rolled his eyes. Repeatedly. Once for my stupidity in telling my kid to go ahead and play with the red handle and then a bunch more times for my pride.
And for the record, he wasn’t burned too badly. Just red sensitive skin for a few minutes. And then he was off climbing the tire displays.