Posted by: heartfull | July 1, 2009

To school or not to school?

I’m faced with another one of those parenting decisions that is filling me with angst and taking over every waking thought.  Why?  Why must everything feel so vitally important?  It’s just preschool for pete’s sake.

Chip will be four in August.  Until a couple weeks ago, we had decided that he wouldn’t attend preschool in the fall – he would have only one year of preschool prior to kindergarten and spend next school year home with Emmy and I, enjoying that last sweet year of toddlerhood.  Oh – and saving mom and pop a hundred dollars a month.

I talked to a couple teachers who confirmed that he would be fine – he does not have any social issues to overcome and preschool is mostly about building social skills – relationships with fellow students and teachers.  Getting used to a classroom setting.  Chip is a social whiz at this point.  He is not shy and makes friends easily.  This summer (as with last) he makes friends with any kids that are at the pool, charming the lifeguards as well as the 11 year old boys.

By the by, have I ever mentioned Chip’s preference for the male species?  Except for his cousin, I have never seen him gravitate towards a girl – at parties, the pool, any social gathering, Chip finds the nearest male and makes a new friend.  Too bad for him there are three girls his age living on our street – and not one boy.  Of course, some day he might like that set up.  Some time a long time from now, that is.

Back to the preschool thing, though.  Now I’m second guessing that choice.  Chip would love school;  that much I know.  And when you know that your kid would love something that every other kid his age does as a matter of course, well, that makes you question your choices.  It isn’t his fault that his mom and dad are already paying a lot of money for his nanny.  And it isn’t his fault that his nanny needs income and doesn’t want to give up two days a week in income.

He could attend afternoon preschool.  I called, and there is room in the Tuesday/Thursday afternoon class.   It currently has four boys and four girls enrolled.  Nice and small.  And he would be so thrilled.

And!  The things mom could do with her two afternoons free!  Scrapbooking!  Shopping!  Reading!  Napping Cleaning!

But.  That is the crux.  Just thinking about the benefits *I* would get out of Chip’s preschool enrollment clouds my resolve.  I begin to question my motives.  Who am I doing this for?  Because if it is for me, well, a little free time isn’t worth the money.  Seriously.  I can wait another year.  But if I’m doing it for Chip, then that is different.

Sometimes I think I need a therapist.


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