A couple weeks ago I had to do my “Long Run” on Friday night since I was volunteering for something during my pace team’s Saturday morning long run. I headed out after the kids went to bed, so it was already dark. Within the first mile I got my first “scream” from a car full of teenagers. I expected it as this activity seems to be highly entertaining to the sub-eighteen set. Still, I jumped out of my skin when I heard it.
It happened again around mile three. While I inevitably jumped out of my skin, the surprise was immediately replaced by confusion. Did I hear him right? Did the kid really just scream “Get a JOB!” at me? I spent the next two miles pondering this. I can just picture it – his friends yell out “you take her, Jake!” He leans out the window, adrenaline pumping through his veins. And then… that is what comes out of his caw? He pulls himself back into the car and realises what he has just done. Maybe everyone in the car was silent as they considered their friend. Or maybe they fell all over themselves laughing at him. Or maybe not – maybe it didn’t matter what he said, as long has he screamed something.
Well, to set the record straight, I actually do have a job, young man. It is a really great one. You can only hope to be so lucky over the coming years. I’m not optimistic, though. I truly bright child (albeit suffering from suburban boredom) might have yelled for me to “get a life”, brought my “lard ass” to my attention, or even instructed me to “loose some weight”, all things which your future job-seeking competition have suggested. You, though, dropped the ball. I do not see bright things on your horizon.
Honestly, I almost felt sorry for the kid.