A couple weeks ago we went to The Boat House for lunch. In an attempt to make the High-Maintenance One happy, we allowed her to order fish and chips from the adult menu and, to compensate, I got nothing.
Bird (AKA High-Maintenance One)
Ok, actually John and I almost always share a meal so that we don’t feel like gluttons upon leaving restaurants. And it keeps the bill down. But since Bird actually eats like a bird, her order virtually insured that there would be plenty of food for all. And I would feel like a glutton upon leaving.
When the food came out, Bird was ecstatic with her selection. She went on and on about how yummy it was. Mare, too, was happy with her usual – Chicken Fingers.
Mare (AKA Easy-Peasy Pudding and Pie)
Bird, though, was convinced we must all partake of the fish. It was soooooooo good. Dad immediately dug in, because he is a fan of fish. Mom gingerly took her bite, because she is not so much. Unbeknownst to me, Bird convinced Mare that she should also have some. Because it was that good. Good enough, Bird thought, to make a lover of fish out of anyone – even Mare.
I was busy with Chip when I felt tapping on my shoulder. Mare was standing next to me and leaned in to whisper in my ear (I thought.) Only, instead of whispering, she gagged and wretched in my ear, her body trying to expel the unwanted fish from her mouth. Into my ear canal.
I grabbed my napkin from my lap and slipped it between her mouth and my ear canal. Bird sprinted for the other side of the restaurant, always fearful of (shudder) germs. John freaked in his typical, manly way. I rushed her outside (easy to do at the Boathouse) as she gagged up the rest of the fish into my napkin. After getting control of the situation, we sat down and again to finish our dinner in a completely civilized manner. We glanced around the restaurant and didn’t notice any stares. Then we laughed and laughed and laughed at the secret Mare has saved just for her mom.