Posted by: heartfull | December 3, 2007

I look good – for a mother of three.

Kim is a lovely woman that I see at various functions involving friends from the elementary school. She has one child a year ahead of Bird at school. She is cute, petite and very fit. I see her out running a lot.

At a Silpada party on Friday night, we started talking about how physically evident it is that we both turned 37 this year. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, 37 has been a bit harder than the other birthdays. I’m closer to 40, number-wise. The lines are increasing. And, well, I’m getting flabby. The way I see it, the flabby-ness is due to three things:

1) Not loosing all the weight from Chip (8 lbs to go),

2) Not exercising and

3) Turning 37 (or at least I tell myself this is one of the factors.)

Kim totally agreed with reason #3. She said nothing has changed in her diet or exercise and yet she has developed a pooch. Okaaaaaay… I’m looking at Kim and I do not see a pooch. I tell her this. So she lifts her cute little shirt and exposes her cute little, very flat, very toned, very tanned and belly ringed belly. I’m telling you people, there was STILL no pooch. I said so.  She managed to squeeze something, but it looked like skin to me. In any case, I nodded sagely at this point, as it was obvious that I wasn’t going to convince her otherwise.

I mumbled something about not quite being up to her standards and she said “Oh! You look great – for someone who has had three kids!”

Now, I know she meant this in the best way possible, but man, that sucked! I want to look good, with no strings attached. But I fear that as each year passes, my days of no-strings-attached compliments might be over.

You know what though? While my youth is fading, my life keeps getting richer. My kids become more interesting with each passing year. I’m in love with my husband, more so than I was 13, 10 or even 2 years ago. Truly, marriage just keeps getting better. I no longer have angst over my career. And finally, I’m meeting new people as I get more involved at the school and so my social network continues to expand. I say “hi” a million times at the grocery store, I belong to a book club, I have lots of choices for lunch dates if I choose to make them. I gab on the phone with a variety of very interesting people.  Basically, I’m happier than I have ever been, even if I’m flabbier.

I mull this over. I say to myself, maybe this is the way nature intended it. Then I counter, maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.

Either way, I’ll take it.



  1. I’ve got a pooch and I don’t even have kids!

    But, I’d rather have the life you described than a flat belly any day.

  2. hello! read your email I am a mother of 3 too, have always been pretty thin, but after three have changed my body shape, am still 6/ 8 but feel underconfident in sex, have rubbish tits after breast feeding 3 and to be honest think that everyone looks good if things are in the right places regardless of size! don’t worry about a poouch if you have the right attitude, if you feel sexy i think it goes a long way! the prob is i don’t! have people saying all the time, oooh you’re so lucky you’re so slim , but i feel completley unable to want anyone to look at me, let alone my own husband, whom i love but feel very arkward with sexually, always have to pretend to be someone else, so embarasssing! totally not his fault by the way, is very nice about me to me…also so much water under the bridge. listen, am not sure what to do, and no point in saying, just give him a BLOW JOB AND ALL WILL BE FINE, AS HE SAYS HE DOESN’T LIKE THEM , HAVE A HUGE SNEEKEY FEELING THAT HE DOES, BUT JUST NOT FROM ME!BEEN Marryed for nearly 9 years, want so desperatly to make things work, but feeling like every day we are becoming further apart, now have seperate bedrooms, what can i do to change my life around?, as far as i can see if you have three kids and are still together and love each other, then that means so much more than being worried about a poouch!rebeccax

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